Category Archives: Just Watched

Just Watched: Black Swan

Yes. I know. I might be the last person to watch this. But whatever it is, let start bitchin’ shall we?

Errrr… that’s the trailer, btw, not the whole movie.

Now let see those beautiful posters shall we?

The 'enh' one.

The creepy one.

My fav poster. But surely people won't like this one. Thanks to Gaga, people nowadays only want the freak2 thing one... (bahase pasar sket)

Which one is your favorites, kittens?

Now lets get to the synopsis. The story was about Nina (Natalie Portman) who’s a ballerina in a New York City ballet company. Her life revolves around dancing, scratching herself, imagining stuff and coping everyday with a psycho mum who like to draw freaking and frightening pictures of her daughter. Oh, and her mum was a retired ballerina (who quits after she got pregnant with Nina. Now that explain all those picture she draw…). When artistic director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre (Winona Ryder) for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice. But Nina has competition: a new dancer, Lily (Mila Kunis), who impresses Leroy as well. Swan Lake requires a dancer who can play both the White Swan with innocence and grace, and the Black Swan, who represents guile and sensuality. Nina fits the White Swan role perfectly but not the Black Swan. So as Nina try harder to feel her Black Swan character, she begin to get more in touch with her dark side with a recklessness that begin to threatened her. In other word, she’s either too desperate to be perfect or she’s just a crazy bitch.

Why I love it?

Natalie Portman. She deserves any awards and shit she deserved for playing this crappy ‘what-the-f**k?’ character she played in this movie. That bitch is good. I’ve only seen two of her movies so I can’t really judge the character she choose to play but from what I see from the movie No Strings Attached (with Ashton Kutcher), Natalie is basically playing almost the same role: a fragile girl who just wanted something so bad she started doing crazy stuff (like trying to pick a fight with a guy who’s 6feet tall or stabbing herself before doing a performance). Only that in No Strings Attached, she’s a girl who’s strong and tough on the outside but fragile on the inside but in Black Swan, she’s fragile inside out. But, anyway, I love how she plays and feel her characters. I can really feel the disturbing, psycho vibe as I watch it.

Nina as the black swan.

Nina as the virginal, innocence, fragile white swan.

Honestly, I love her more as the White Swan. When she’s all that fragile and desperate, I feel really pity for her. Yes. Natalie is THAT good.

Oh. and the ballet was NICE. Worth all the pain practicing for it, I’ll say.

Now, why I don’t-really-like it?

Ok. This should be long…

First, the story. I know it’s just a simple story. I know how the director or script-writer want to make the play, The Swan Lake, as the focus of the story and on how Nina want to be so (like what Pink said) f**kin perfect for the role but what I don’t understand is WHY? Why all the craziness and psycho-ness? Why Nina is so freakin stress about her role? Why Mila Kunis suddenly appear? Why her mother drew a scary picture of her own daughter? Why everyone in this film seems either psycho, disturbed or just plain crazy? Why? Is ballet THAT hard? (I know it IS hard but suicidal hard? Dunno bout that) Did the scriptwriter want all of us to know that you should never send your kids to ballet class? There are all sorts of questions playing in my head as the story rolls.

Then the characters

~Nina: If I were her friend, I’d slap her in the face and say, “Loosen up you uptight bitch!”. But I dunno. Trough out this movie, I’m still unclear about Nina’s background; if she had some sorta mental illness or stuff. There’s one part where her mom said, “Have you been scratching urself again?” so maybe she is sorta schizophrenics and stuff. And having a mom who draws scary picture of her is definitely NOT HELPING.

~Lily: Lily is my fantasy friend. I always imagine having that kinda friend who’s crazy and make us do stuff then make out with us. Because I’m the freak one, I need friends like Lily to help me survive the social life. Anyway, as much as I (will) love her as a friend, I don’t see as if she plays any important role in this movie. Yes, she’s the new dancer and she’s a threat. Then she go befriend with Nina and suddenly she became Nina’s lesbian wet dream. And then Nina killed her but then realize she did not kill her. What the f**k? I don’t even see Lily as Nina’s main problem here (as her main problem is the simple fact that she’s a sick, crazy bitch), she’s just added to the piling problems Nina already had. And her role is so confusing. But I don’t blame her though. It’s the story. I still wish I had a friend like Lily though….

"Seriously, what am I doing here?"

Nina’s Mom: What kind of mum draw scary asylum-patient-artworks-like pictures of her daughter? Seriously, what’s wrong with her? They should make a prequel about her. Seriously. And once again, her role is also confusing. One minute she’s like this psycho mum who draws scary picture of her daughter (I just can’t get over it, ain’t I?) and a minute later, she’s so caring and loving and very concerns about her daughter. What the f**k?

The caring loving mom (who still look like she's going to kill you in your sleep).

Look like the kind of mum who'll put arsenic in your soup and then screams, "You are mine!! You'll always be mine!!".

~Thomas Leroy: Typical character. Boss who sleeps with his workers and call every single one of’em (whom he had slept with except for Nina because she looks like someone who’ll bite his penis off if he try to sleep with her) his ‘little princess’. At last….

"If I sleep with you, would you promise not to bite my wee wee?"

~Beth McIntyre: Enh. Whatever.

Oh, and then there’s the lesbian scene…

My friend said to me: “If you want to make a movie yang only the gays will watch it (it’s a story about ballet, enough said), then why do a lesbian scene? Bring on the naked guys. Tengok Burlesque.”

…… Yes. I’m wondering if my friend’s gay but damn he’s right XD

In conclusion

I’m not a movie expert or a professional movie critics but I don’t think this movie is that good. I will, no doubt, watch it again but only to watch Natalie Portman la. Seriously, that bitch is good… Till next time guys!! ^^

Just Watched: Willow Smith-21st Century Girl

*Ahem2* Mind my words, peeps. Mind the words…..

Well, being an over-analytical freak as I always am (like those people who see iluminati’s sign in every single shit they watch), besides commenting and criticizing on other people’s fashion sense, I wanted to try some new stuff: commenting on videos and movies that I had just watched. Yes. Welcome to the new segment of the show: JUST WATCHED.

Now lets get straight to the point, shall we, mate?

Lets talk about the new vid that come from the Smiths clan: Willow Smith-21st Century Girl

Ok, first thing first: the song. It is not that good. It’s kinda average. The song you expected to come from a 10-year-old black kid. No, I’m not being racist. It’s STIGMA. If I get the words right. Anyway, it’s groovy, funky, dance-y and the lyrics didn’t make sense (or maybe I’m just a bitter, old, conservative male) at all to me. See? It’s average. And is it legal for a ten-year-old to sing “I’m taking you for a ride”? Gal, u ain’t even have ur license yet!

Now the vid. I don’t know what or how she wanted to symbolize the 21st century girls like. The only thing I see is that they all wear tacky, weird clothes. I swear one of them even wear colorful condoms on their head. Funky much? Well let see and judge some of Willow’s outfit in this vid shall we?

No wonder she's so skinny. Dragging along that pile of curtains on your @$$ and that chained booty is surely gonna make you lose weight.

"My role-model is Ke$ha. That bitch got class" -Willow.

Oh and at one point she do sound like Ke$ha. Ok. Then what the f**k is wrong with girl nowadays? Is that how you imagine yourself, 21st century girls out there? Dancing, partying and acting like a drunken slut all day long? I swear Willow got so drunk at one point she fell off into the car and needs help getting up.

"Look ma. No hands *hiccup*"

Drunken whore….. Instead of worrying on what weird, unflattering dresses she wanted to add in her wardrobe collection, Jada should worried about her girl ended up being the black version of Ke$ha.

Whatever happen to the innocent young girls in tutu dress?

Awwwwwwwwww......

But instead, girls nowadays (the so-called 21st century girls) prefer to wear something like this:

Arrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Arrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Seriously, what the f**k is wrong with world nowadays, peeps???

Oh, and at one point, I swear Michelle Obama make a cameo.

Did you see it?

Well all (bad, racist) jokes aside. I think Willow is a great performer. I watched her perform ‘Whip My hair’ on Oprah the other day and geez that girl sure can sing and perform. I just don’t think this song (or video) was that good. It’s basically a Ke$ha video in a form of a ten-year-old Will Smith’s daughter. Not interesting but I’m glad that girl had fun. What do you think?

Well, this is my first time doing this so sorry for all the flaws and bad jokes. Now till next time guys. I’m gonna fly. How I’m going to fly, you ask? Well, to fly, I…….. whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth.

xoxo