2012 SAG Awards Red Carpet (Part 1: The Girls of Glee)

Oh my God it’s Thursday already.. Talks about procrastination.. Well, like I said in my previous post, this red carpet is a little boring and the trend for the night seems to be either generic, or weird cutouts.

Well, anyway, lets start with this Glee-ful bunch of girls shall we?

Lea Michelle in Atelier Versace

When will Lea ever learn that she’s not a Lopez? (the hot sexy Latina one, not the funny one or the abs-tastic one)

Dianna Agron in Carolina Herrera

The dress is doing weird stuff to her body shape. Nevertheless she looks kinda pretty.

Amber Riley in Badgley Mischka

Oh honey, no. Not the big-ass bow. Otherwise this could be a really cute outfit for you. No on the hair too.

Naya Rivera in Naeem Khan

She got a killer body and she’s wearing a standard award dress -cleavage, sparkles- of course she’ll look gorgeous. Her boobs deserve more support though.

And what with the sheepish “Gosh I can’t believe I’m at the SAGs. God bless!” pose?

Jenna Ushkowitz in Rebecca Minkoff

Weird cutout dress no 1. More to come.

As for the dress, it’s an ugly dress with ugly cutouts. Seriously, who want to wear a dress that make them look like they are wearing a big ass granny bra from the back?

Lauren Potter

The black lace with the black accessory and that hair makes her look older than she really is. It’s an appropriate look for the red carpet and she looks pretty (and kinda cute) and that dress really flatters her, but a little pop of color would be really nice.

Heather Morris in Masai Payan

Look like an old, desperate, retired rocker-chick who tries to relive her old-days fame by starring in movies – as herself.

(Bonus) Chris Colfer

The only reason I featured him is because I REALLY don’t get that weird leather panelings. Seriously. If you guys could sort out the hidden messages behind it don’t forget to tell me in the comment sections kay?

Now that we’ve assessed the students, lets move on with the teachers shall we?

Jayma Mays in Reem Arca

Standard award dress no 2 (Standard Award Dress rules #164: No cleavage, sexy back then.) Well from the front she totally look like she own the look but too bad in the second picture she looks like she have a sequin fabrics coming out from her butt. Now I’m having second thoughts..

Nah, butt schmutt. She looks gorgeous!

Jane Lynch in David Meister

Standar Jane Lynch award dress (Standard Jane Lynch Award Dress rules #1: Find a good David Meister dress that looks good on you and get it made in different colors. No one would notice!)

But I can’t deny she looks pretty amazing here.

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AJL 26: The Performances

Because I’m very malas and because of the boring red carpet, I figure I’m going to cover the stage wears tonight and the SAG tomorrow.

Okay lets see what the celebs wear onstage.

Lets start with the host that night, Faizal Ismail and Sheryl Samad.

Okay, their first outfit was fucking terrible. He’s wearing an oversized suit and (waaay oversized) pants and his tie is sticking out (I don’t even care if that was intentional!) and she, well she’s wearing a legging. Yes, she’s wearing a fucking legging while hosting a prestigious singing competition. As for the top, the shoulder pads, shiny materials, zipper at the front, look like it was made by a Project Runway’s rejects.

This is their second look for the night. Well I don’t usually comment on guy’s wear but to me the blue gray combo is a little odd. And that pants still look a little too big on him. And for her, she looks more polished and better. The dress was only okay but compared to her first outfit, this is way way way better.

Lets move on to the performances.

Jaclyn Victor performing Sedetik Lebih

The dress is very nice and pretty in a flowy-diva kinda way. It kinda remind me of a Marchesa dress. At first I think the color could be more interesting but the more I look at it the more I think it really suits her and the song she’s performing.

Atilia and Monologue performing Kakanda Adinda

She looks really cute. Especially her hair paired with her outfit. Looks like a traditional Malay-themed Barbie doll. As for him, I would just say they’re dressing according to the theme.

Ana Rafali performing Kalau Berpacaran

The traditional look really suits her. Plus the dress is quite pretty. And as usual, I hate big ass shoulder pads.

Faizal Tahir performing Karma

Don’t you just love the second picture? Talk about right-timing and right-angled. Anyway, he looks like a man who haven’t slept in three days and then he have to wear that stupid suit and now he’s really pissed.

Najwa Latiff performing Cinta Muka Buku

I pity this girl la. The fact that almost everyone (based on my Facebook newsfeed) hated her and glad she didn’t win, and the fact that the next morning she have to go to school and face all the psiko-ing and all. And don’t you think her performance is the most fucked up that night? She fasten the beat of the song (maybe because there’s a time limit for each performances and because her song is VERY long and enduring) and when she perform, the only thing that I can think is: “Aku yang dengar ni pun tercungap-cungap.”  Well, anyway, as for her outfit, I can say it’s bad, but not as bad as the other outfit she had worn, which is super fucked-up bad.

Yuna performing Gadis Semasa and Penakut

She wear this while performing Gadis Semasa. I love the fact that she can pull off a high-waisted pants. As for the whole looks, I think it’s totally Yuna -the funky version- with the hoodies and all. I’m not saying it’s a good look though.

This is the funky Makcik Yuna. The dress, the necklace, and the ridiculous alien head-looking turban. If not for the jacket -with the chandelier and all- I would’ve assumed that she’s performing at a fancy concert where the audience are all rich, old politicians and corporates and the lowest ticket price (the shitty seat one) is around  rm90++.

Shila Hamzah, Ning Baizura and Jaclyn Victor performing Beribu Sesalan

Brava, Jac. You’re standing next to two beautiful and talented singers (and one of them is even considered a diva) and you stand out the most. She wins for the best look of the night. The dress is amazing, it’s beautiful, it shows he amazing body and people can see her even from the most shittiest seat. That’s how you dress on stage, bitches.

Alyah performing Kisah Hati (with bonus Remy Ishak and some sesat clown)

Seriously, what’s the purpose of this guy being a part of the performance with his lame jokes? This song is not even fun. It’s a sad song, for God’s sake. It kinda look like a desperate call for attention don’t you think? I mean, the performance and the song itself is not bad.

I mean, I totally love the idea of making her look like the rotating doll in a music box here.

And as for the dress, it’s pretty but all those beadings and embellishments make it look heavy on her. For a stagewear, it is a quite attention-grabbing dress but yeah, I still think it’s too heavy and overdone. Anyway lets talk about her makeups here. Whoever the fuck did her makeups totally hate her. Her face almost match the bronze-ness of her dress and the pink lips is super fucked up, dude. Either that or she put her head in the oven 5 minutes before her performances.

And then there’s Remy Ishak, making an epic cameo at the end of the song. And you can totally see her hair clippings even from here! Honey, your makeup artist and hairdresser hate you. Fire them before they convince you that afro haircut and is back in trend and switch your facial cream with warts removal cream. For your own good, dear.

Oh, and Remy looks great.

Hafiz performing Awan Nano

And finally, the most talked-about, both song and outfit, that night. Congrats for winning the first place and for having the guts to perform in front of thousands in just a t-shirt, tracksuit, barefooted, with hair barely done and no makeups, totally raw. And his performance is truly amazing. Good job, Hafiz.

AJL 26: The Blue Carpet

Okay so the 26th AJL was held yesterday and unlike last year, I got to watch it this year. Well, it’s not that exciting and to be honest, the performances are quite mediocre and boring. Anyhow, first lets talk about what’s happening on the blue carpet yesterday. Well for most of the look I can’t seem to find a good picture of it (most of it was either taken from the waist up or taken too far from the person) but lets not let that effect our bitchery okay?

Well before we assess what most of the celebs wear one by one, let me just sum up the blue carpet event for you in two words:

FUCKED-UP LIGHTING.

Lets assess!

Siti Nurhaliza

She’s obviously trying to pull a Jolie here. Well it’s too bad she don’t have a body to pull it off. And all those sequins and the long sleeve just made this look heavier on her. And please, celebs, no handbag on the red (or blue, whatever) carpet. You either carry a clutch or let others carry your handbag when you want to take pictures. And btw, that handbag looks cheap.

And I know it’s not my place to talk about this but whatever happen to her tudung? It’s like she wash it over and over again and now it has shrinked to ten times smaller. Honey, get a maid to all those laundry for ya, kay?

Atilia

The hair is cute and the dress is quite pretty. Heels choice, wrong, and the makeup is a tad overdone, and apparently, scary.

Marsha

While Siti is trying to pull a Jolie, Marsha here looks like she’s trying to pull a Theron. And fail. Miserably.

Neelofa

The dress is too tight and those heels are tacky. Like, BET-tacky.

Yuna

So is she aiming for the muslimah-version Nicki Minaj look? Because if she did, this would totally be an.. accomplishment.

Ana Rafali

Too many thing is going on with the dress; the colour, the embellishment, the SLEEVES (especially the sleeves), the shiny fabric.

Liyana Jasmay

We all had this kind of moment, didn’t we? You know, that moment when you’re so nervous facing all the photographers and then BAM! Suddenly one of your leg become too shy and hide behind your other leg. Awkward…

Anyhow, she kinda look cute here. The outfit is nice and the heels are acceptable (if not a little too big. I think a simple red pumps would do rather than heavy platforms.) And like I said earlier..

The lighting is fucking shitty. I get the theme was ‘Water’ and all but I seriously don’t think blue lighting is needed here.

Nora

Well-played. And this is the only look that I think is appropriate to be paired with a handbag. Plus it looks super flattering on her.

Fauziah Ghous and Iqram Dinzly

THIS IS MADNESS!!

Dynas

“Fuck you, I’m pregnant.”

She is, right?

Kaer

Bathrobe.

Leya and Aidid Marcello

She: Looks pretty. Love the soft blue color on her. The dress is nice. At first I thought it’s a little too tight at the mid-section but then I think maybe it’s the way she stand. I’m not sure about the hem but it looks pretty okay here. And the black pump is also an okay choice. Makeup and hair looks pretty.

He: Not sure about the vest but the rest of the look is okay.

Stagewear next bitches!!!

2012 Golden Globe Awards – Part 5: Top 5 Best Looks

Now let see my top five favorite look of the night!

5. Paula Patton in Monique Lhuillier

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Oh the ever enthusiastic red carpet walker, Miss Patton..

Love the color on her. I don’t know how old is she but during the Mission Impossible premieres, she’s always seen wearing something that make her looks like someone who desperately wanted to seem fun, like short dresses with sparkly fringes and stuff. She always end up looking like a mother who stole dresses from her 17-years-old daughter’s wardrobe.

Anyway, back to this. This dress does seems fun. Love the yellow coloring on her. And I think she fill the dress better than the model on the runway. The hair is right, the makeup is okay. Just don’t seem to excited, hon. It annoys people, you know.

4. Laura Dern in Andrew Gn

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FUCKIN FABULOUS. And my what a killer body she have!

3. Nicole Kidman in Versace

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Nicole Kidman was the last person that came into my mind to be wearing anything from the Versace Spring 2012 line (actually, I can’t think of anyone who would wear dresses from that collection) but anyway, she did, and I think she looks friggin fabulous. I’m not crazy about the dress on its own but on Kidman it looks absolutely stunning.

But still can’t top her 2010 Grammy’s Jean Paul Gaultier couture though.

2. Tilda Swinton

BOW THE FUCK DOWN PEOPLE, TILDA MOTHERFUCKIN SWINTON IS IN DA HOUSE!!

And our winner is…

1. Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace

The only reason I put this on the first spot is because putting Tilda in the first spot is like saying the sky is blue.

I LOVE YOU TILDA!!

Okay, back to the dress. It’s undeniably the most head-turning dress of the night, especially because she’s a Jolie. Jolie never go high fashion y’alls. Jolie will never  even touch an Atelier Versace, let alone walk the red carpet in it. Jolie will wear some chiffon-ish, pale colored, flowy Jenny Packham or Elie Saab dresses. Then Jolie will let her hair run free and let her natural beauty do the speaking.

So when a Jolie suddenly slick her hair back with a bun and slaps on some serious red lipstick on that huge-ass sexy lips of her and put on some shiny Atelier Versace with a red accented shoulder line and some killa red clutch, of course she’ll be a head turner, amyrite?

I STILL LOVE YOU TILDA!!

Btw, the more I look at it the more I feel the dress is a little too creamy and satin-y. Plus, white shoes? Aw, come on, Angie!

2012 Golden Globe Awards – Part 4: Top Fifteen Best Looks (Part 1)

Too many fabulousness, have to break it up into two parts. ^^

Some starlets really bring it on on the red carpet this year. Lets start the countdown shall we?

15. Salma Hayek in Gucci

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If her goal is “to not to look like a trophy wife and start to look like a hot Latina bombshell again”, then I can say it is quite well achieved. And as much as I applaud celebrities when they go high fashion on the red carpet, I really think Salma should stick to “hot Latina bombshell”. But hey, nice try.

And put some product on your hair honey, for God sake. It almost look as if it was made by the same material as your dress.

 

14. Dianna Agron in Giles Deacon

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THE DETAILING, MY GOD. I freaking love those detailing. Too bad the dress is a wee bit too heavy and looks unflattering on her. Like Salma, while I applaud her trying to go high fashion, I think she should just stick to her lovely sweet princess-y innocent girl look. Leave the high fashion to the pros, hon. But oh the detailing…

 

13. Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang

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It’s Sofia Vergara in a curve-hugging Vera Wang mermaid dress, with her hair, flat-ironed, swept to one side. A little expected but it seems like it suits her. Like, she own this kinda style. The tulle is a little too much but everything else her is kinda perfect. For her, at least.

 

12. Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci

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This dress looks so unflattering on her. But somehow, with that makeups and hair, and that face, she seems so pulled together. She have the attitude to pull even the most ridiculous dress off.

God I love this woman!

 

11. Charlize Theron in Dior

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So pretty. Actually the dress is not that exciting but hey, Charlize Theron is wearing it.

 

10.  Claire Danes in J Mendel

Not sold on the hair and Claire have this naturally ‘harsh’ face so she should really go with a softer makeups. The dress is superb though.

 

9.  Julianne Moore in Chanel

She’s obviously “pulling a Jolie” here – a simple dress with one statement-making emerald accessories. Well I didn’t say she look bad though.

I put her on this spot because she have been favouring her disasterous high-fashion Lanvin dresses for so long now. See, Julianne, this is what you need. A simple elegant black dress paired with some killa accessory. Love her makeups in the first pic but in the second one she suddenly looks a little too ‘natural’.

8. Diane Lane in Reem Arca

Serving up some good ol’ Hollywood fabulousity there.

7. Emma Stone in Lanvin

She looks stunning as always, the dress is pretty, really love the color and the belt is killa.

But enough with that. Lets talk about something more important here. What’s with Michelle Williams’s face? I mean, I don’t remember her looking that severe.  I don’t believe she had a job done. Probably because she had been losing A LOT of weight lately.

6. Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci

Sequins and peacock feather is a little too obviously drag-fabulous but she’s Evan Rachel Wood. If anyone could ever pull off a dragtastic dress, it’s her.

Plus that dress does actually look stunning.

Top 5 coming soon…

2012 Golden Globe Awards – Part 3: Top Ten Worst Looks

Well, it could not be THAT worse. We’re talking about The Golden Globes here..

10. Maya Rudolph in David Meister

Maya Rudolph in David Meister

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What does that dress made of, dinosaur skin or something? That dress looks too heavy on her. The only thing worse is if that dress is actually a baggy jumpsuit, which it does kinda look like..

And that makeup is so not yours hon. Hair is gorgeous though.

9. Andrea Riseborough in Diane Von Furstenberg

Andrea Riseborough in Diane Von Furstenberg (with Madonna)

Andrea Riseborough and Madonna

Awww… She just won’t walk the red carpet without her Aunt Madgie won’t she? But seriously, is she covering something? Like, “Yeah Madge, put your hand there. That’s where the zipper broke.”

Actually she doesn’t look that bad. She even look pretty gorgeous here. But when she took picture with Madonna, she suddenly a pair of leather gloves away from looking like one of those cowboy-movies hooker. Like they could suddenly pull out a gun out of their gartier and I don’t know, rob the red carpet. Or kidnap the Clooney or something.

And while we’re still on the topic, let see what Madgie’s wearing..

8. Madonna in Reem Arca

Madonna in Reem Arca

“I’m all old Hollywood glamour on top, Latina Grammys at the bottom bitches!”

Madonna's gloves, bitches!

“And this glove? Because fuck you, I’m Madonna. That’s why.”

7. Mary J. Blige in Michael Kors

Mary J Blige in Michael Kors

“Well fuck you too, Madonna. Cuz tonight I’m all diva on top dead smelly Sesame Street monster at the bottom! Top that ma gurrl.”

6. Amanda Peet

Amanda peet wearin shower curtain y'all!

Because looking like layers of cakes is not bad enough, she have to look like layers of shower curtains.

5. Natalie Portman in Lanvin

Natalie Portman in Lanvin

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Oh, Natalie.. You look so pretty. But then you have to fuck it all up and go steal those antique round vase table and hide it under your otherwise-could-be-a-very lovely dress..

4. Kristen Wiig

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Meh. The dress is actually kinda pretty. I wish it didn’t look like a jumpsuit. And I also wish she didn’t look like someone who couldn’t care less to be there. It’s the Globes honey. Do your hair and fucking makeups.

3. Melissa Mccarthy in Badgley Mischka

melissa mccarthy in badgley mischka

Oh honey, you’ve been looking so gorgeous lately. This empire cut dress just doesn’t flatter your body. Go back to those slammin’ glamorous sequin dress kay? Plus, next time, don’t let Snooki do your hair. That bitch knows nothin’ about hair. And products. And fashion. And class. And life, generally.

But actually that’s more Adele than Snooki. Meh I just wanna express my hate towards her.

2. Mila Kunis in Dior

Mila Kunis in Dior

She got number two because she went a level down. Heck she actually went TEN level down.

Come on, Mila. This is like the safest, most boring-est, plainest dress I’ve ever seen you wore. Better bring on the game next time, hon.

And our winner is…

1. Lea Michelle in her own princess Marchesa world!

Lea Michelle

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Awww.. I really should go easy on her shouldn’t I? I mean, she looks pretty fabulous for someone who have been soaked for that long in a mercury-contaminated sea. Long enough to develop a symbiotic relationship with the corals. Like, “You bring  me to the red carpet, and I’ll cover your titties kay?”

2012 Golden Globe Awards – Part 2: The Seniors

Before we get to all those skinny young famous Hollywood starlet, lets take a look at those pros who have been walking the red carpet maybe even before some of the starlets were born.

Lets start with The Queen.

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Helen Mirren in Badgley Mishcka

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Never have I seen woman her age look this glowy. People always show pictures of female celebs in their 40s and talking about how they look so young and ageless and how that is “Ageing, you’re doing it right” kinda stuff, but to me, this woman is a true epitome of “Ageing, you’re doing it right.”

As for the dress, I think I could go without all those ruffles. Woman her age should go with something simple yet statement-making, like one of those “Bow before me bitches” kinda dress. Pretty, but it just doesn’t suit The Queen.

Now lets move on to the others.

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Meryl Streep in Alessandra Rich

This is the “Fuck you I’m Meryl Streep” dress. So, fuck you she’s Meryl Streep. 

 

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Sharon Osbourne

Meh. Floral and silk is a little too cliche for me. What is she doing at the Globes anyway? 

 

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Glenn Close

To be honest, I kinda like the dress and the kimono-ish sleeves with the silk lining at the cuffs. Plus I think she looks really pretty. I just don’t get that faux chest hair-looking thing protruding out at the bust. I mean… why?

Yeah… Why?